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Allies Blog, Uncategorized

Creating Boundaries

Welcome to my Blog! It has been awhile since I have written anything and it truly has been heavy on my heart! I will blog at least once a month, sometimes more depending on content and what is truly on my mind!

My word for the year: Boundaries! This is the first year I have actually chosen a word for myself. Do you have a word? The word boundaries has so much depth and so many levels! Let”s take a look at the definition of boundaries:

Boundaries is a line that is imaginary. It is a separation. It separates your physical space, needs, your feelings as well as the responsibility you have toward others. Having boundaries are how other people treat you: meaning what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Boundaries are needed because without these imaginary lines people will take advantage of you.

Boundaries & You

Here are what boundaries will do for you:

  • Being your true self! You have the right to have your own feelings and making your own decisions without trying to please others.
  • Self Care at it’s finest! This has been a tough one for me and is a struggle but I am getting better! Respecting your own needs and knowing ( ok this is what is tough) you are not responsible for the people in your life how they behave or feel! Listen to this! They are responsible! When you have boundaries you allow yourself to stop worrying about how others feel and makes them responsible! This is huge! Do you feel you have to many irons in the fire? Do you take on too much? Saying no is tough! Say no to those things that do not align up with what you want! This is going to be a constant with me! How about you? Do you say yes, just please others?
  • Being Real! having real expectations! We need to know what is expected. This takes communication! Telling people what you expect
  • Feeling safe! Creating boundaries makes us feel safe and secure. It keeps us from things that maybe uncomfortable or hurtful.
  • .

What is holding you back?

  • Fear! The fear of doing something different or new! Here are questions to ask: What are you afraid of? The thing your afraid of is it likely to happen? What will happen if you do not set boundaries? What will happen if you do? Fear is something that we all have! Trust me I know! Sometimes it takes me awhile to get over the fear, but asking these questions helps me see if I am in a situation I need to get out of or just stuck in a rut.
  • low self love. Feeling unloved or unworthy. I have been there we all have at some point. Not knowing your worth you will always put others before you. It is not selfish to put your needs before others! This is how we earn and get respect! Take care of your needs first and foremost! As women, this is tough because we care for so many people that our needs get lost. Make you a priority! Do something you have always wanted to do! Take that dance class, take that walk, have a girls night!
  • pleasing others Yes, this has been me! Trying to please everyone and hating conflict. This is why I need boundaries! You can not please everyone!

Boundaries are about what feels right and what does not feel right! The other day Paulette Rees-Denis sent this to me and I wanted to share her to end:

“Boundaries are physical, but most importantly energetic. They are a commitment to honoring yourself. Do not allow within your energetic space what doesn’t feel right, loving or aligned.” Sophie Gregore

Boundaries are: self love, protection, are divine birthright, honor, worthiness, strength, compassion, empowerment, balance, accountability,abundance. Wow love these words! Don’t you?

I would love to hear from you! You can comment and lets talk!

Allies Blog

Kids Class

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Every week I spend a half an hour with the kids, specifically girls that attend the summer program at Carver Community Center.  The reason I am writing about this is because it is a very important part of what I do and one of the many reasons why I teach.  The ages I have range from 4-12 which is great because I get to work with all different age groups and they can learn from each other in a controlled and positive atmosphere.  So what do we do in class?

First, it is all about having fun, creating a positive image and self-esteem while getting the kids moving and learning about a dance form along with another culture.  Today we worked on flexibility and stretching and talked about the importance of both and why we do it.  These girls are really smart and in fact, a few weeks ago one of the girls came to me before class and told me she forgot to do her homework.  How cute!

We also worked on working together as a group and how important it is and what happens if one dancer does not do the same thing that the other dancers are doing.  I have been teaching the girls the debke’ which is a circle dance holding hands.  I asked the girls why we dance in a group togehter and what does it help each one of us focus on.  I had answers such as moving, a few I don’t knows…one girl spoke up and said, ” it’s about working together” and she is right  I had her repeat it so everyone could hear it again.  I lead the girls around in a circle repeating the steps and showing them as they followed me.

As we continued around the circle, I changed the tempo as we started stepping more quickly.  A few of the girls feet got tangled up and well you could imagine what happened….the circle stopped as some girls fell down and the circle became disarrayed.  I then asked the girls what happened and why we talked about what we do affects those around us and those next to us.  After leading the girls through simple belly dance moves such as hip thrust and the washing machine we ended the class having races walking on tip toe and playing red light green light belly dance style.  The girls have fun and I do as well.  Plus, getting the chance to teach them this wonderful art form!

Allies Blog

Suzanna Del Vecchio past workshop

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When I first started dancing, I had only been dancing for maybe about a year and I got the chance to take a workshop in Cincinnati with a topwell known dancer; Suzanna Del Vecchio.  This was a really great experience for me and I came away learning so much from her and the workshop I attended.  She is such a graceful dancer and full of knowledge.  I was very excited that I got to meet her in person and I had a chance to chit chat with her for a brief minute. I will never forgot the experiance and she is one that I do reccomend if you ever get a chance to go to one of her workshops; it is a must!  I can remember we were moving in groups across the floor doing pelvic rolls down and I was doing them in reverse and she came up to me and said “we are not there yet” I really appreciated her telling me, but at the same time I also was somewhat embarrassed.  We went through various drills and movement in the beginning and at the end she taught us choreography to Khayarouni by Woroud and can be found on the Belly Dance Superstars Cd, Volume 2.  To this day, I still know a little bit of that choreography. In her workshop is where I learned the D-step.  Suzanna has been dancing for over 25 years and she actually holds a retreat in Colorado that is a huge event.  Suzzana teaches body alignment and technique through movement.

Here is a video of Suzzana Dehttp:Vecchio; Enjoy!

Allies Blog

I am a Belly Dancer

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IMG_2631-1024x683The past two weeks I have been scouring trying to come up with something brilliant with my blog and well I have not had much luck. Maybe it is writers block or sheer exhaustion or both! From the beginning. this dance form has taken hold of me and has not let go! I am a Belly Dancer it does not matter how you look at it the outcome is always the same. I feel you either love Belly Dance or hate it; there really is not an in-between with this art. My days begin with Belly Dance and they end with Belly Dance. Each and every hour of the day I am either thinking about the dance form, preparing or dancing and teaching and performing and writing about the dance and educating not only the community but my students as well. I spend hours and days coming up with class curriculum, creating choreographies, getting my website and blog updated, working on videos and editing for the website and continually working on myself as a dancer training and preparing to be the best I can. It in itself is a full time job and there are many days when I think if I could just have one more hour….so why do I do it? I could be considered insane to some. But it is because i truly love what I do and I am a Belly Dancer.  I found this quote a few days ago:

It takes ten years, usually, to make a dancer. It takes ten years of handling the instrument, handling the material with which you are dealing, for you to know it completely. *Martha
Graham*

According to this quote I am not there yet since I have only been dancing for about 8-9 years nothing comes easy and without alot of hard work and dedication.  Your body is your instrument and we have to remember this.  So remember this quote when you become discouraged or think why can’t I get this!

Copy Right June, 2011

Allies Blog, Beginner Classes

Facial Expressions

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This past week one of my students asked a very important question when it comes to facial expressions.  Facial expressions helps bring the emotion that you are trying to conceive with the movements more alive and it is the finishing touch to your dancing.  When performing or even practicing you should always be aware of the expressions you are making with your face.  What is most important is to try and relax and realize it is not necessary to always smile.   When dancing and performing it must be full bodied;meaning emotion comes from every aspect and adding emotion with the face is the key to communicating to the audience the story that you are telling because when we dance we are telling a story.

“Face expression draws attention to the dancer
One of the best tools of the trade is learning to facially adapt to the dance. Audience eyes are drawn to those dance performers who learn how to master the emotion and expression within the set choreography. The mood of the dance is what audiences interact with through interpretation, reciprocal emotion and psychological illusion. It is the actual connecting factor between the dancer and the audience, and one of most importance. ” from Dancehelp.com; article, “Just Face it”.
Tips on Facial Expressions:

  • Always be aware of the expression on your face when practicing
  • keep relaxed and really letting yourself go (this takes time)
  • let the music guide you
  • always keep your head and chin up
  • try not to have the deer in the headlight look ( yes, I have had this happen to me)
  • practice in the mirror

With all this in mind, I am working on hopefully some very cool exercises that we can have some fun with during class on expression of the face!  Just remember with all of this it takes time, patience and alot of practice!

The picture above I think really represents the emotion that a dancer portray’s when dancing.  This picture was taken by WG Images.  Copy Right June, 2011